Help Me Make It Through the Night
by NCCJFAN
Summary: My take on the how the last several episodes of Crossing Jordan could be strung together. Yes, artistic license has been taken (apologies to Tim Kring), but this is how I would like to have had things happen between episodes....Lots of fluff...but it's b
1. Revelations in a Diner

She nearly lost him this time. For good. Permanently.

She came so close she not only knew it, she could feel the emptiness in her soul as Garret revealed the consequences of the heroine smuggling case.

She, Woody, and Garret were sitting in the diner, eating dinner, when she innocently asked how their day had been. She had been in autopsy all day…and hadn't gotten Woody's homicide calls. Woody hung his head at the question, not ready to reveal to her what happened.

Garret told her. He knew she would want to know, because Garret knew exactly what her feeling were for the Wisconsin detective – she had fallen in love with him. She had fought it for at least two years, but now, she had given up the battle and had allowed her heart to lead her.

She could have lost him forever to an accidental heroine overdose. Garret said he had flat lined. Her breath caught at the horror. Woody was still looking at the top of the diner table as if his life depended on it, refusing to meet her eyes.

"Well, I need to go," Garret finally said, putting the money for his meal on top of the table, and giving Jordan a knowing look. Herealized the couple needed time alone. "I heard what a day you and Bug had in autopsy. If you need to take the morning off, go ahead….I think I probably will, too." Jordan knew what that meant. Take care of Woody and make sure he was okay before she came in. She nodded in understanding. Woody still was keeping his eyes trained on the table top. When Garret had exited the restaurant, she reached out and took his hand.

"Are you okay, Woody?"

He met her eyes then. "I've never taken drugs, Jordan. I don't even like to take over-the-counter cold medicine, much less anything illegal."

"It was an accident…who would have remotely figured that heroine could be smuggled into this country in sweaters, for God's sake."

"You don't understand. I feel….dirty…used…like I've done something horribly wrong that I can never make right."

"Woody…you didn't do it on purpose."

He shook his head. "I know. I do know. It's just….I hate drugs, Jordan. Hate them. I hate the people that make them, I hate the people that sell them…I hate the dealers that trap people into taking them. And I'll be honest…..I have a hard time with users who won't think enough of themselves to get some help. And now I've taken drugs…unknowingly, unwittingly….but I've done it."

"But you didn't mean to. And no one is going to blame you."

He sighed and closed his eyes. His face was still blotchy from where he had handled the heroine-laced sweaters and then touched his eyes. Garret had said the dose was lethal and if Nigel had not been with Woody to get him immediate medical attention….well, Jordan didn't let her mind go there …. What could have happened.

"Woody," she said again, this time a little more sharply. "How are you feeling – physically?"

He opened his eyes then and read the clear concern in hers. "Not so good….not bad enough to go back to the hospital, but weak…sick…"

"Let me take you home."

"No…I'll be…..oh hell, who am I kidding? You're a doctor. You know how bad I feel. Do you mind?"

"Heavens, no." She rose and put money on the table for hers and Woody's meal and helped him up. "Seems like I remember you taking me home a time or two…" He swayed just a bit as he got to his feet. "Okay. Lean on me if you have to….I won't fall." She slipped her arm around him and helped him to her car." He was looking paler by the minute. "I think I need to get you back to the hospital, Woody."

"No….I'm feeling better…I think I just need to go to bed."

She nodded. He didn't look well at all and her concern level had more than doubled for him in the past fifteen minutes. They had been through so much together during the past couple of years…Malden. Her father leaving. James. And he had always been there for her. It had only been after she nearly lost him the first time that she realized just how much she cared for Woody.

Ah. The first time. That time she almost lost him to another woman – Devan. She had no idea that they had been seeing each other. In her selfish pandering, she had never fathomed that Woody would get tired of waiting on her and find someone else. But he had.

And when Devan's plane had crashed into that mountain, Jordan had been wracked with guilt….for her feelings and actions toward the young ME, and should she feel remotely relieved that now Woody could possibly be all hers again?

She had given him space and time to grieve, but then worked hard to regain his affections again. He had caught on pretty early to what she was doing….she had let her hair go curly, the way he liked it. She had worn clothes with a little more feminine edge to them, to catch his eye.

And when she disagreed with him, she did it in the most agreeable manner she could muster. No more snide comments. No more angry, sarcastic remarks. She couched her comments with respect for his opinion. Until one day, while they were in Trace, alone, he had finally laughed at her.

"What's that for?" she had asked.

"You… are trying so hard…"

She had played dumb. "What do you mean?" she had asked as she snapped off her gloves and tried to leave the room.

"Jordan," he said. "Come here."

She looked at him for a beat, then walked back over to where he was standing. "Jo…it's okay. I don't _dislike_ you. I'm not sure how I feel about you anymore….I need some time to figure this thing out again. I thought I knew…but now I'm not sure."

So she gave him time and space until recently when a string of events beyond either of their control had thrown them together. Los Angeles, Faye, and the One-Armed Man. Not that she was complaining. They had freed an innocent woman together. They both had let down their guard around each other.

And he had said he wanted to hold her tighter. A pleasant shiver went up her spine at the memory.

Unfortunately, as soon as they returned to Boston, their lives got busy again and she hadn't had a chance to reclaim the kiss the had been interrupted...and to tell him that yes, she wanted him to hold her tighter...but just him and only him.

But she was worried about her Farm Boy now. He didn't look well. "Woody…" she cautiously approached, "would you feel better if I camped out on your couch tonight? Just to make sure you're really okay?"

"Help me make it through the night?" he crooned, mimicking an old song. Then suddenly serious he said, "Yeah. I would. I don't know what this stuff could do to me. I don't think I want to."

"I think I'd rest easier if I were there….let's swing by my apartment and let me grab a bag."


	2. Stay Awhile

**Chapter Two**

**I forgot to disclaim you in chapter one. So here it is. A-hem.**

**I don't anything concerning Crossing Jordan. Tim Kring and Tailwind Productions own everything. And they are doing a great job with season four…and I'm so glad they've been renewed for season five…**

**

* * *

Jordan got ready for bed in Woody's bathroom while he made up the couch for her…with mixed feelings. To hold her all night, even if he didn't feel like doing anything else, would be next to heaven.**

To suggest anything that might scare her off would be disastrous. _Although she has been acting more open to me lately,_ he thought. He didn't know if she was _that_ open to him. He reluctantly smoothed the sheets over the cushions and fluffed the pillow. "Thanks," she told him when she emerged from the bathroom, face freshly scrubbed and dressed in girl boxers and a tank top. "Now…go get in the bed. I'll check on you before you go to sleep."

He turned away and did what he was told. Truth was, he was tired and still didn't feel good. He dropped his pants, shed his shirt, brushed his teeth, and climbed in the bed. A moment later, he heard her come in and felt her gently take his head in her hands. His blue eyes squinted up at her. She felt her heart flutter, her knees go weak, and her mouth went dry. "Jordan?" he asked.

"Cream…I was going to put some antibiotic ointment on your face where the heroin made contact with it," she stammered. She heard him chuckle softly under his breath. She lightly applied the medicine and surveyed her handiwork. "It will be all better in the morning. How's the rest of you feeling?"

"Still woozy….'

"That will be better tomorrow, too. I'll…. I'll…check on you through the night to make sure you're okay."

"Good," he said, his eyelids closing. He felt her fingers gently smooth his hair back and then felt her slight weight shift as she left the bed.

She came back twice that night…unable to sleep herself. She had worried about him nearly the entire evening…checking on him as much for her own peace of mind as it was for his safety. The last time she came in, she eased down on his side of the bed and quietly turned on the bedside light, gently turning his head so she could look at the red whelps on his face. _One more application of the ointment should do it_, she thought, and just as gently as had turned his head, she lightly began to apply the cream. When she finished, she capped the tube and pulled the sheet up around his chest, tucking him in closer. Before she could stop herself, she leaned over and tenderly kissed his forehead.

Unaware that Woody was awake the entire time. Before she could move, his arms went around her waist and he pulled her into his bed. "Woody…." She protested…far too weakly for Jordan Cavanaugh…with far too little fire in her voice to make Woody fear that he had done the wrong thing.

"You've been back and forth in here, checking on me twice…just stay here the rest of the night so you will know I'm okay and you can get some rest." He began pulling the covers around her snugly. "I promise…no funny stuff. I'll rest better with you here, anyway. So just …. Go to sleep, Jordan."

"Stay for awhile?" she questioned him.

"Yeah," he replied softly, spooning her closely to him…her back to his chest. "Stay for a awhile…please." He dropped a kiss on the back of her head and tightened his arms around her, listening to her breathing slow down and even out….a sure sign she was asleep. He kissed her hair one more time, lightly threading his fingers through it.

_Stay for a while_….the phrase she uttered absent-mindedly needled his soul. She had asked him to do that once….months before. When her apartment had been broken into…

When she had nearly been raped.

He had gone to her apartment to return her mother's locket that had been stolen and she had asked him to stay for a while. He had hugged her…still torn between her and Devan…kissed the back of her head and pretty much told her no. He wasn't interested. But "maybe we could hook up sometime."

If that wasn't a brush off, he didn't know what was. He had left her there…alone and unknown to him, frightened out of her wits. She was scared….that the intruder would return…that he would complete the act he had begun.

Of course, Woody didn't know this at the time…Nigel had finally told him some weeks later, after Woody spied the Brit leaving Jordan's apartment building. Nigel had been inside putting a new deadbolt lock on Jordan's door.

Guilt had eaten at him for weeks. He should have stayed with her. He should have been the one that put the deadbolt on.

Hell, he should have walked her inside her apartment that night the intruder was in her bedroom instead of fussing about not getting a good night kiss and leaving her alone at her door.

If Jordan felt like she had lot to make up for, he felt like he had even more. He pulled her closer and tightened his arms around her. And to his amazement, he felt her turn over and rest her head on his chest. Smiling, he snuggled her closer…Maybe it was time they started making up for lost time, interrupted kisses, and bad decisions now.

* * *

"How's Woody?" asked Garret, the next afternoon, as Jordan entered her office.

"Better….much better. He had a restful night…I think the heroin is out of his system."

"Good. So he'll be back at work today?"

"No. The chief still wants him to take a day off and make sure he's really over this. He'll be back tomorrow."

Garret nodded and went back into his office as Jordan flipped on her computer to check her e-mail, mindlessly going through the files, uploading and deleting as she needed to. She had left him about an hour ago, still somewhat out of it. She had reluctantly pulled herself from his still-sleeping form and got ready for work, when all she really wanted to do was stay there and make sure he was okay.

He came so close to dying…a fact that she could not put out of her mind. She nearly lost him. Ever since Woody had become her friend, Jordan had one continuing nightmare…that he would be killed in the line of duty and end up on her autopsy table. She had a reoccurring bad dream that she would go into the autopsy room, unzip a body bag, and find his sightless blue eyes staring up at her. She shuddered and tried to put away the memory when her cell phone rang, abruptly bringing her back to reality. "Cavanaugh," she said into the receiver.

"Don't you know it's not polite to sleep and run? You should have at least woke me up and let me cook you breakfast."


	3. Relax and Let Me Love You

**Chapter Three**

He had never felt as helpless as he did when he saw her sitting in that chair with Cahill behind her. Holding a gun to her head. He still had nightmares about it.

Retired cops kept turning up in Jordan's morgue….all of them former partners of her father. And then Max had showed back up. At first, Woody had been glad for Jordan. She had missed her dad.

But Max's return with Jordan didn't bring the joy he hoped it would….and the reunion would be short lived. Then Max would be on the run again. And Woody was left to pick up the pieces for Jordan. Not that he minded….he just hate it happened to her.

Max had met her on the roof of the morgue, a place where Jordan would often go to think or to have a private place to talk. The first time she had taken Woody there was when he was wrapped up in the Montgomery case…and nearly convicted of the girl's death. She met her dad up there to talk…to see where he had been…and if he was staying.

And to tell him she had sold The Pogue.

It hadn't been an easy decision. She had wrestled with it for a long time. But working two full time jobs had been wearing on her for a long while. Despite the fact her father had left her with a good staff at the bar, she felt responsible…she'd go in after working in the morgue all day….and stay there until one or two and get up the next morning and do it all again. Garret had tried to talk to her…as did Nigel. Finally, after catching her dozing at her desk, Woody had tried to talk some sense into her.

"Jordan," he said, gently shaking her.

"Hmmmm?" was her reply.

He had gently turned her office chair around and knelt in front of her. "This has got to stop, Jordan. You can't keep working two full time jobs."

"Dad will be home soon, Woody…he'll take over then."

"When was the last time you heard from your father, Jordan?" He hated to ask… he knew it was a sore spot with her, but felt the need to snap her back into reality. Her head bowed and her face was hidden by the lush curtain of her hair.

"Almost a year," was her nearly inaudible reply.

"Then I'd say, you need to make a decision. You can't keep working like you're doing…you're going to kill yourself."

She had looked at him totally bewildered…."What do I do?"

"First, you need to get some rest…don't you have a few days vacation time coming?" That was a joke…Jordan had nearly five years worth of vacation time coming. She nodded. "Then take a long weekend…go to the Cape. Rest. I'll take care of the Pogue while you're gone….make a decision then."

And she had. She had gone for a few days, returning to Boston on a Sunday…showing up at his apartment. "Can I come in?" she had asked. "Are you busy? I need someone to talk to…and you're the only one whose opinion I really want to hear."

That had surprised him. He figured Dr. Macy's opinion might mean more. He willingly opened his door further and allowed her to come in. She looked rested, the dark circles under her eyes had nearly vanished.

"You are right," she began. "It's too much. I can't keep working two jobs like I have been….the Pogue and the morgue. And since I'm an ME by training and not a bartender, I know which one needs to go…the Pogue. I can't keep a steady staff since Dad left….as soon as I get someone trained, they seem to leave….so that's why I've decided to….sell the bar." She said the last part in a rush, as if to get it out before she changed her mind.

"Jordan…are you sure?"

"What do you think?" She looked at him with pleading eyes. "I just can't do this anymore, Woody. My work at the morgue is slipping…and Garret's cutting me a lot of slack….and I never have time for anything else but work…you've been great….so understanding….but ever since we got back from LA, and you told me that I needed someone to hold me tighter….there just hasn't been time…I haven't been avoiding you…I just haven't had a chance to be with you…." suddenly her eyes filled with tears and Woody realized that Jordan had made what was for her the ultimate choice. A choice between her father and him.

And she had chosen him.

His male ego soared…his chest nearly puffed out with pride. Until he saw her face….she was struggling…was this the right decision? Without thinking, he walked over to her and took her in his arms. "Shh….Jordan….it will be fine. Max will understand. He'll have to…especially when he sees what this is doing to you. Look, honey," he pulled away and looked her in the eyes, "sell the bar, put the money in a trust with his name. When you see him again, give him the cash. He can buy another bar or do whatever he wants…but it will get you out of the loop, let you live a normal life, and allow me to hold you tighter," he said, gently wiping a tear away with his thumb.

"Do you still want to?"

"Of course I do."

"Could you now? I _really_ need you to…"

She didn't have to ask twice. He deftly slid her jacket off her shoulders and pulled her to him. She was sweet and soft….and yielded to his kiss this time without reservation or cell phones going off. Long moments stood still as he kissed her, lushly and fully…to let her know he did indeed want to hold her tighter.

And he wanted so much more. But now wasn't the right time. Reluctantly, he broke the kiss and pulled her head to his shoulder. She snuggled closer. His eyes had widened in surprise. He expected her to pull away. They stood that way for a long time. "Have you eaten dinner?" he asked softly.

"No…I haven't eaten since breakfast.'

"Then I'll order a pizza…" And he did. They ate and watched a movie…talked about inconsequential things until it was time for her to go home. "Call me when you get there, to let me know you got home okay?"

"Sure," she had replied, before he captured one last kiss. "See you at work tomorrow."

So the decision had been made…and the Pogue was sold. She put the money in a trust and when Max showed back up, she had presented him with the check.

He had been disappointed….and told Jordan that there was nothing in Boston for him right now…so he went off again on his own adventures.

Leaving his daughter bewildered and hurt…especially after she had told him she was more than willing to forget the past and look forward. Woody had overheard the conversation. He had gone to find Jordan and Dr. Macy told him she was on the roof with her father. He had stayed in the shadow of the stairs until he heard Max finish and leave. He had gone to her then…she was still sitting on the wall, staring out over the city, silent tears streaming down her face.

"He's gone," she said in a small voice, turning to face him.

"He'll be back, Jo."

"I don't know…he doesn't believe I've changed….I have changed, though. Haven't I, Woody? You do believe I've changed, don't you?"

"Yes…of course," he replied gently taking her hand.

"He's all the family I have left….and now he's gone."

"But you're not alone, Jordan." He pulled her to him and kissed her softly. "I'm here…I'll always be here."

She had cried in his arms for a long time…until he helped her back down to her office and she got ready to leave. "You're in no shape to be by yourself tonight," he told her.

She nodded. "Will you stay with me?"

"My pleasure," he answered, giving her his best wolfish grin, just to see her smile. "I'll be more than happy to help you make it through the night." He put his arm around her and helped her out.

At her apartment, he had gotten ready for bed, but noticed she didn't make up the couch for him. He looked from the couch to her with an eyebrow raised. She shook her head. "I don't want to be alone." He nodded and crawled in the other side of the bed, taking her in his arms once again, pushing the hair back out of her eyes.

"You took care of me when I had the heroine overdose…let me take care of you tonight, Jordan."

"But I'm not hurt…"

He ran a finger down her neck to the center of her chest. "Your heart is, though. You're hurting here."

"I have a feeling it's going to take me longer to get over this than it did you with your overdose."

He nodded. "But I can help…" He kissed her then….deeply….feeling her mouth and body yield to him, offering no protest when he pulled her tank top off, and settled her back down on the sheets. All she needed to know tonight was that she was loved…by him…and that he was concerned about her more than anyone else….and that he would always be there for her. Always. She reached for his t-shirt, and he allowed her to pull that off between kisses, but stopped her questing hands when she reached for his boxers.

"Not yet, Jordan. Tonight's about you…just wait."

"But we've waited three years already…"

He smiled down at her…"And a while longer is not going to kill you….or me…just relax…lie back…and let me love you."

The look in his eyes caught her breath….He wanted to love her….not have sex with her…just love her…the idea was almost too new to contemplate…until she felt his lips begin to kiss her face…over her eyes, down her nose…..her chin and neck…over her right arm…lightly kissing down the inside of her forearm before caressing each finger….then repeating it on the other arm. Then over each breast, causing her to arch against him…he nearly lost it then…but held firm to his resolve to love her first before anything else. She groaned in protest as he moved away. "No…she mumbled when he continued his quest, placing a trail of opened mouthed kisses over her bare midriff.

"Shh…just wait…" he told her. He paused at her navel, glancing back up at her…making sure she was okay, before continuing down the inside of her thigh…her calf, then up the other leg, before returning to capture her lips one more time. He heard her sigh in relief and she arched against him again….

Then he turned her over on her tummy…chuckling softly at her protest…and began to kiss her back….down to the waistband of her girl boxers. He slid them off and then flipped her back over on her back, kissing her again before settling lightly on top of her.

"Woody," she managed to get out between kisses…

"Hmmm?" He was busy caressing with his hands where his lips had been…

"If that's your idea of foreplay, you're going to be the death of me…."

"It's not over….just relax…"

And he had made love to her that night…Jordan wasn't sure how many times, he caused her body to come off the mattress and meet his….or how many times she whispered his name….she just knew when it was over…hours later….she was more than exhausted…more than satiated…she was loved…in every sense of the word.

In the morning, Woody found her curled up next to him, her head on his chest, her arms around him. In the back of his mind, he had still been afraid she'd run...that old fears would rise up and cause her to leave.

Not a chance. She wouldn't run now if her life depended on it. She awoke to his soft kisses again…and held him until the alarm clock went off…signaling it was time to return to work…and to reality…

That now so closely included him she couldn't remember her life without him.


	4. Repercussions

**Chapter Four**

He was alone…utterly, completely alone….that was what he felt as he entered that God-awful bar and chased out Albie along with his own brother, Cal.

Cal…the last close family member he had…Cal with all the problems…drugs…girls…gambling. Cal, who he had raised and loved with his whole heart.

And had his heart repeatedly stepped on by the same brother. Woody sighed and closed his eyes. He had written him off now. He had told Cal to leave…get out…that he had only come into the bar for Jordan.

That was partly true. His heart surged to his throat when he found out she was in that bar with Cal…trying to set up some kind of reconciliation between he and his brother. Cal had put the woman he loved in danger. That was the most idiotic thing he had ever done.

It was also the most unforgivable.

He had told Cal several times during his stay in Boston that Jordan was off limits. Any other woman in Boston was fair game. But Cavanaugh was his…whether she wanted to admit it or not.

And now, as he sat outside the bar, in his police car, waiting for the final arrests to be made…and to make sure his brother was gone…he had never felt more alone. After he had shot Albie, he had radioed in for more back up and went back upstairs, taking Jordan with him. From there, he wasn't sure where she had gone. Had she been so disgusted with him and his brother that she just disappeared….or did she think he needed time to himself? He chuckled bitterly…he had enough time now to be alone. His last immediate family member had nearly sold him out…got him and Jordan killed. He had told Cal in no uncertain terms to leave…he didn't want to see him ever again.

Then the passenger side door opened…and she got in. "Need some company?" she asked quietly.

"Yeah…" he reached out and took her hand. "I tried so hard with Cal, Jordan. You wouldn't believe how hard I tried."

"I know…but you were just a boy yourself, trying to raise another boy. You did good, Woody. The trouble Cal's gotten himself into is because _he_ made the wrong decisions…not you. _He_ decided to gamble when he didn't have the money to back up his bets…_He_ got involved with the wrong people and drugs. _You,_ on the other hand, are one of the most decent, honest, loving, wonderful people I know. I know you didn't influence him to do those things. If anything, I know you tried your best to steer him away from it…but there's that free will issue there, Woody. You can influence, but you can't make people live the way they should. They have to want that for themselves."

He looked at her and ran his other hand down the side of her face. "Thanks…When did you get to be so wise?"

"When a certain detective didn't give up on me when I was going off the deep end….as a matter of fact, I tried his patience many times…and he just kept on loving me. He made me want to do better….be a better person." She pulled his hand that was on the side of her face to her lips and kissed it. "I owe you a great deal, Woodrow Wilson Hoyt."

He smiled, a slight blush coloring his cheeks. "Seems you saved my butt a few times, too."

"And enjoyed every minute of it. It's a cute, little butt, too." She grinned at him, mischief making her eyes gleam. "Let's go back to the morgue…see if we can find out how Bug's doing."

A few minutes later they were in Dr. Macy's office….discovering that Bug was now conscious and doing better…Nigel and Lily were with him and Garret was getting ready to walk over…. "Wanna come with me?" he asked Woody and Jordan, who were sitting on the couch in his office.

"We'll catch up in a few minutes," Jordan said, giving Garret a pointed look.

"Suit yourself," he grinned, leaving them alone.

Woody sighed and leaned back on the couch. "He was right, Jordan. Cal was right. I would do anything for him. He was all I had left."

She shook her head. "You have me."

His world rocked. He leaned back and looked in her eyes…. "I do?"

"Yeah. You have me. You're not alone." She reached out and put her hand in his. He held it tightly.

"You're sure?" he asked, almost afraid to believe it.

"Positive.."

* * *

Later that night, curled up together on her bed, she gently ran her fingers through his hair. He had come home with her…he couldn't bear to go back to his empty apartment…thinking that for some reason Cal might return…or be there….or have left something that reminded Woody of him…. "You okay now?" she asked. He had still been emotionally shaky most of the evening, reluctant to let go of her hand, even in front of Nigel, Lily, Bug, and Garret at the hospital. He had held it as if his life depended on it…and she had let him.

"I'm better." She could still hear the sniffles in his voice. "What makes us so different…Cal and I? I mean, same parents…raised the same way….what made me be me and him be…him?"

She pulled him closer and kissed his forehead. "Everyone has choices they have to make. You made the right ones. Cal's still struggling."

"I mean, was it anger? At our parents for dying … or me for raising him…?"

"Who knows, Woody? That's a question that only Cal can answer."

"But why didn't I turn out like that, too…I mean same circumstances…"

She tilted his head up so he could look her in the eyes. "Because you are _you_. Woody Hoyt. I can't imagine you any way but what you are…."

"That's enough?"

"Well, it's pretty special to me," she said, gently brushing his lips with hers.

He chuckled. A welcome sound to her ears. "I'm glad….and you're just as special to me…with all your issues…." He caught her by the waist and rolled her over, resting on top of her. "This holding you tighter thing has had some serious repercussions."

"Oh, really?"

"Yeah. I always thought it would mean me taking care of you…looking out for your safety…keeping you from running. I never figured it would mean me depending on you to just….be there for me."

She smiled. "It goes both ways, Farm Boy. And I'm glad to be here for you. Especially now," she whispered, somewhat breathlessly as his lips began to explore her neck. "Woody…"

"Hm?"

She drew a sharp breath when he hit a particularly sensitive spot, losing her train of thought.

"What, Jordan?" he repeated.

"Oh damn….I can't remember…it doesn't matter…just…..Oh…"

"Hold you tighter?"

"Yeah."


	5. Locard's Reloaded

**Chapter Five**

For once in her life, Jordan wasn't sure how to deal. Not with this situation…it was unlike any she had encountered.

Lily. One of her best friends…had to make the gut-wrenching decision to take her mother off life-support. Jordan could only imagine how hard that was…to have to make that kind of choice. She had no clue how that must feel. Or how Lily did it.

But she did know how much it hurt to lose your mom. She had dealt with that feeling since she was 10 years-old. So had Nigel. Woody was only four when he had to learn to cope. And more recently, Garret had been faced with the same situation. They all had unknowingly formed an alliance together….a sort of a club….though the initiation into the group was a high price to pay and one Jordan didn't wish on anyone. They would support each other now through birthdays, holidays, and most of all _Mother's Day_.

Glancing over at Woody, she wondered how he was doing…seeing a friend's mother die was like reliving your own private hell. Woody had experienced the agony of watching his mother die a long, painful death through cancer…he had told Jordan how excruciating it was to see his mother die a little each day. "Everyday that passed, there was just a little less of her than the day before," he said, when finally breaking down and telling Jordan about his parents. "Until finally, one day, there wasn't anything left…and she died."

They were driving back from Pennsylvania. Lily had her mother cremated and had decided to carry her mother's ashes back to her hometown and inter them in the family plot. Woody, Jordan, Bug, Garret, Nigel, Matt…even Rene', went to support the grief counselor. A quick look over at Woody told Jordan he was tired….and on the edge. "Hey," she said softly…"We're almost home…"

His fingers gripped the steering wheel a little tighter and Jordan could see his knuckles turning white. "It never gets easier, you know?" was all he said. She understood. She reached out and gently rubbed his leg.

"I know. Believe me, I know."

He sighed. "Yeah, you do. I just feel so sorry for Lily. There's so much she's going to have to cope with now. Her mom's death. Did she make the right decision…Jordan, how is she going to deal with being a grief counselor at the morgue now…seeing someone come in to claim their mother's body…it's going to be so hard on her.

Jordan squeezed his leg. "It will be. And I'm going to have to be there for her. But time will help. It took me a while…autopsying someone's mother….thinking about my own. I learned the hard way, you have to let go of the obsession…of thinking did I do all I could do? Was it enough? The fact is, Lily did the best she could under horrible circumstances and she made the right decision for her _mother_. And that was what was important. Eventually, I learned that I had to let go of my mother's murder for _her sake_. She wouldn't want me living the way I was…so wrapped up in her death that I couldn't live my life. I will always be curious. And if the opportunity comes up, I'll try to solve her murder. I owe her that. I don't owe her the disrespect of being so consumed with finding her killer that I lose sight of everything and everybody else in my life that I love."

Woody grinned and relaxed his grip on the steering wheel. "Lose sight of everyone you love…does that group include me, Dr. Cavanaugh?"

"You're at the top of the list, detective." Jordan grinned back and leaned over to kiss his cheek.

Woody cleared his throat. "I think Lily has a line of men that will help her get through this."

Jordan chuckled. "Yeah. Garret's protectiveness was borderline ugly almost, although I'd never tell him that. He's never spoken to anyone like he did Matt. Well, except maybe a DA or two. I nearly felt sorry for Matt."

"Well, Matt called Garret a few things behind his back, too. Do you think Lily realizes all the jockeying that is going on…for a place by her side?"

"Lily's still grieving too hard to see anything."

"Did you notice Matt's, Bug's, and Garret's reaction when she said she'd ride back with _Nigel_?"

"That's because she feels safe with Nigel. With Nigel, you can be yourself. He's the least judgmental person I know. She knew she could cry her eyes out or just sit there and be quiet and Nige would be fine with it. She wouldn't have to pretend, or hold up a conversation, or answer questions. She could just…be."

"She's going to have to make a decision when she gets back…."

"And if those men are wise, they'll leave her alone. But I'll tell you what I think will happen…"

Woody turned to her with a curious look in his eyes. Jordan had talked to him plenty about their relationship, but rarely, if ever, mentioned anyone else's. Of all the women Woody had known, Jordan Cavanaugh was the least gossipy one out there. That was one of the things he had come to admire about the lady long before he had ever come to love her. "Okay…I'll bite…what's going to happen?"

"Garret and Rene' will get back together."

"Jordan, are you sure? I mean Walcott has a baby now…by another man."

"So she says. Have you seen her son?"

"No…no, I haven't."

"He has brown eyes….like Garret's. I don't think she's told him everything, yet."

"Jordan…are you sure? And why wouldn't she tell Garret that he was the father of her baby. That just doesn't make sense."

"Trust issue. Garret was still getting over his fling with Maggie… I think Rene' wanted to make sure he had plenty of time to know what he really wanted….that he wouldn't just stay with her because of the baby."

Woody thought for a minute. "So Garret's reaction with Matt and Lily…."

"Was pure male testosterone talking. At one time, he had considered Lily his, and now Matt was moving in on his territory. It raised his hackles."

"Are you sure?"

"I think so. Did you notice the way Garret kept looking at Rene' these past two days…and how he took advantage of every opportunity he could to be with her? When he wasn't trying to keep Matt away from Lily?"

Woody grinned. "Yeah." He was thoughtful for a moment. "Jordan, but if you were pregnant with my child…"

"You'd be the first to know…right after I threw up on your shoes, I'm sure."

They both chuckled for a minute. "So that leaves Bug and Matt in the running….between the two of them, who do you think Lily will turn to?"

"Matt."

"Matt?"

"Matt. For two reasons. Bug has had more than enough opportunities to make his feelings known, if he truly has them, and he hasn't. I think he will always consider Lily special and will always look out for her…but I think if he had any feelings for her at all, they died out long ago. Bug's far too involved with his work to deal with a woman right now. His work is his mistress.

"Matt, on the other hand…there's something there. Call it chemistry…Lily would call it karma, I'm sure….but he really tries for her….tries to be the man that he feels she wants…and doesn't flinch when she calls him a lizard or anything else. He wants to be there for her as much as he wants that next breath. Did you see the way he fell all over himself the past two days doing anything she needed done? And did you notice her reaction?"

Woody slowly nodded. "Yeah. She wanted him by her side nearly the whole time."

"Wouldn't let go of his hand. Mark my words, there's something there. I think he'll teach Lily how to get out of her scented-candle comfort zone and she'll put him in touch with his feminine side."

"So why didn't she ride back to Boston with him?"

"Because Matt is riding with Bug…and that would have been too weird even for Lily's liberal standards."

"So Nigel's the safe bet."

"Nige is always safe."

Woody was silent for a beat. "But what about Lily and Nigel? Anything there?"

"Nothing there. No one knows a whole lot about Nige's social life. We just know he never dates anyone he works with."

They both were silent for a while. Woody noticed Jordan was almost nodding off. He took one hand off the steering wheel and gently pulled her over to him. "I'm glad Rene's shot Emmett."

"In a twisted way, so am I. That man gave me the creeps."

"That man worried me…I saw the way he looked at you at the trial. You and Rene' both. He was gunning for both of you." Woody looked over at Jordan. "You know I would have killed him if he touched a hair on your head."

"He couldn't hurt me."

"Really…what makes you say that?"

"Because…you had me ….you took me with you. I was safe."

Woody swallowed hard. She felt safe with him…she _trusted_ him. She may never know what a precious gift she just gave him. Jordan Cavanaugh did not trust easily. For her to have that emotion towards him meant as much to him as her love. And like her love, he would guard it jealously and carefully. Softly kissing the top of her head before she dozed off, Woody said. "You're always safe with me, Jordan. Always."


End file.
